Two helicopters collided in a spectacular crash over the river yesterday, shocking local residents.

Remarkably, both pilots survived the amazing collision after being rescued by law enforcement officials on river patrol nearby.

The two pilots were treated at a nearby hospital for hypothermia and minor injuries before being released. The specific area of the crash is also a popular haunt of joggers and cyclists who exercise along the rolling pathways of the boardwalks. One jogger saw the entire event unfold.

"It was like a massive shock of thunder followed by a fireball," said local jogger Dayne Klurg. "They hit with so much force that I thought I could see the shockwaves, it was crazy."

City salvage companies are currently searching for the wreckage so that investigators can determine if the accident was equipment failure or pilot error.

City Safety Inspector Mike Gonsalvo expressed doubts about the recovery. "This river can be like the Bermuda Triangle sometimes, the currents are strong enough to tear machinery to shreds. I doubt we will find either aircraft."

Authorities report that Air traffic has been up more than 500% compared to last year. However, officials maintain that air safety has not yet been compromised.

Nine men, all workers at Rumbaar Sewage Treatment Station, were apparently shot through the head and dumped inside the station's treatment vats say city investigators.

"We have no known motive, no suspects, and at this time, very few leads," said Inspector Lowell Vogue, the City's Lead Investigator. "It was an ugly crime."

According to on scene reports, the physical plant was still in operation when the new shift arrived to a deserted work center. Once the former plant workers could not be found or contacted at home, the shift foreman called authorities.

"We knew from the very beginning that something was not quite right with the situation," Inspector Vogue said. "No damage was immediately visible, though green sparks from some disconnected electrical lines gave the scene and eerie glow. Something was wrong and the workers were missing."

After a thorough search of the entire plant and the local bars and restaurants, the authorities ordered the sewage treatment vats drained, leading to the grisly discovery.

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