Don't forget your medication

Dr. Schwartz, one of the city's best known psychiatrists, has been involved with many cases of a form of short term amnesia in which the individual loses remembrance of anywhere from ten minutes to a few hours. Dr. Schwartz believes that a cure to eliminate this illness will be available shortly. In the mean time, he strongly urges his patients to continue taking their medication.

We have talked with a few people known to suffer from this predicament. Elaine Miller is a mother of two and a social worker. Here is what she had to say. “I was just leaving work and on the way to the car, I felt this strange twitch come over me and I blacked out. When I came to I was on the roof of tall building nearly two blocks away. It was a mortifying experience as I am deathly afraid of heights. I just don't know how I could have gotten up there.”

Here is the account from a thirty year old man who wishes to remain anonymous. "I chose to remain anonymous due to pending legal issues. Now, let me tell you about short-term amnesia. It has happened to me several times. I woke up at the scene of a crime and had no idea what happened or how I got there. There were bullet holes all over the place. They say I was involved in a gunfight, but I can't remember anything! I've lost track of time and ended up in places I've never been before. It's like mind control or aliens. It just doesn't make sense. I'm really hoping this medication will help."

City officials assure us that there is no imminent danger of short-term amnesia. Reported cases are at an all time high, but there are still very few affected. The cure is expected to hit the market in coming weeks.

Dear Aunt Ella

Relationship Edition

People seem to be having some relationship issues recently, be it with love interests or loved ones. So, welcome to Dear Aunt Ella: Relationship Edition!

Dear Aunt Ella, I want to ask you for advice regarding a young lady that I fell in love with at work. I am 19 and she is younger than me by 3 years, but we get along really well. I like her and we both have a great time when we work. Should I ask her out? I don't know if I should because she is younger and a co-worker. And if I should, how could I do it without losing her friendship if she says no? Sincerely, LovedWorker.

There are a couple factors that need to be considered here. First, could you lose your job if it doesn't work out? And second, is it worth it? If the answer is no and yes, respectively, then go for it. If the answer is yes and yes, think about it. If the answer is yes and no, stay away. If you want to stay friends with her even if she says no, be sure to warm up to her first. Make good conversation and try to find something you both have in common. Eventually, work up the courage to just tell her you are interested but if she's not, that's cool too. It might get awkward for the next few weeks, but after that you should be set.

Unfortunately, you can be torn between two lovers, while one of your lovers doesn't even have you on their mind.

Dear Aunt Ella, I am in a relationship with "Paul", a handsome, highly intelligent man, who works for a French billionaire as a diplomatic liaison; he's the kindest, most noble gentleman I've ever met, but his work takes him out of town and out of the country for long stretches of time. During one of his business trips, I started seeing another man, “Peter,” a sweet guy who just about defines “computer geek,” but who's very caring and loving toward me and my adopted son. Peter knows about Paul, but I'm hard-put trying to break the news to Paul that I'm seeing someone else. What's the best way to word this in the most diplomatic way? Sincerely, Torn Between Two Lovers.

It sounds to me like this "Paul" is seeing another woman on the side. Business trips? Really? That practically spells cheating right there. You two have obviously grown apart, so just tell Paul you found someone else and you are moving on. He had moved on a long time ago anyway so it's about time you two just stop seeing each other. Besides, "Peter" sounds like a much nicer guy than "Paul". Tell "Peter" you dumped "Paul" and make sure he knows you are the only woman in his life. Or at least you better be the only woman in his life, or else.

Sometimes your feelings for someone you care about can cloud your judgment. Take this family for example:

Dear Aunt Ella, My daughter is bringing home these odd Chopper boys, from that Uriah place. They all have peculiar names and wear horrid boots while driving those deathtrap, "Motorscooters" or whatever the youngens call those hippie two wheeled loud bicycles. Anyhow, why won't she just date a nice Crestonite, or even a Chelsea boy. Am I doomed to have a greaser-grandson, or can something be done to help? Elderly and Angry, Grey-Coat.

Sir, I'm pretty sure your daughter wrote in a while ago. She thinks you are a control freak so I told her that you had trust issues. While I think that still stands, I also think your daughter is going down the wrong path to be dating boys from the Chopper gang. You both need to take off the gray coat, put down the revolver, and listen to each other. You shouldn't have such high standards for your daughter and she shouldn't have such low standards for herself. I know it sounds hard to actually bond, but it needs to be done. I'm sure it'll make both your lives easier.

Need advice? Email Aunt Ella at [email protected].